BREAKING NEWS: A massive air spill has been reported at a wind farm. Employees said, “We were too busy to panic, we have spent the day securing papers with heavy objects lest they blow away.” The massive air spill has affected a swathe of Northern Europe. The wind has been detected in parts of Belgium, Norway and Germany and there are some fears it may have blown further still. Doctors are predicting that such a spill could cause as many as zero cancers of which half may prove fatal.
Engineers are calculating how many balloons will be needed to contain the wind slick. They have also suggested that chemical dispersants may be needed to break up the wind. Although critics suggest breaking wind would be an environmental disaster, especially on a curry night.
A spokesperson for BP said “This is an air spill raging out of control with no end in sight. The problem with these alternative energy sources is that we have no experience of dealing with them when things go wrong, unlike in the oil industry where we have had decades of experience mopping up oil spills and associated environmental disasters.”
Last month a solar spill at a plant in California caused sales of sunglasses to rocket and those living near the plant are looking nicely tanned. On Fox News, Sarah Palin demanded to know what President Obama was doing about all the photons spilling out of the sun on a daily basis.
Managers at the Wind Farm site were saying there is no need to panic and that Britain is the windiest country in Europe, the spill they claim was only “a slight breeze.” The CAW (Campaign Against Wind) said it was more of “a sustained gust.”
Mr Miller a spokesperson for the Wind Farm advised the public if they were concerned to “sit back and enjoy the breeze and make sure all bouncy castles were secured.”
Note: this post originally appeared in “The Wind Farm”, the editor of which has since defriended and blocked me for reasons I’m not privy to.